i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
