it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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