Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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