good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
