I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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