She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
