I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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