I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
