I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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