just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i believe in u and ur pee
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
