It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
