she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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