I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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