I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
