so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize