He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
