Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
