We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize