So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
