why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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