Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
