none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
