Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
