Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
ttyl tear gas
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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