Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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