Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
