So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
A bitchslap is in order.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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