yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
