Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
