Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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