is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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