We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
