Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
