Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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