this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
