Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
