Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
