I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
