I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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