Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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