I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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