What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
