Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
