Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
