just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize