your room smells of hookers.
And success
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Boobs speak an international language.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
