I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
