Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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