Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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