just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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