he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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