Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
