So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
