She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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