Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
ok first of all what the fuck
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
