He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I don't deserve a penis
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
