the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
