Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Even my vagina gasped.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
