when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
