glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
