Don't you send me to vm
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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