Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
