If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
