from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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