She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
