shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
