i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
