8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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