that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
smell my finger.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
