You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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