Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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