I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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