I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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