Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
